Limited Hip Mobility + Sex

Q: What are some tips for limited hip mobility?



A: Thanks for that question! To begin, I urge you to broaden your idea of what sex is and can look like. Most people think sex has to fit into this preconceived mold of what we’re taught it is supposed to be. But sex can look like many different things, and it’s really up to the individual and their partner(s) to define it. Sex can be cuddling, or mutual masturbation, or instructing your partner on what to do to themselves or you, etc.



To answer your question more specifically, think of the positions (not sex positions) that your body naturally likes to be in. Do you like laying on your side or your back, or sitting in a chair? Then try to adapt your sex around the positions you are most comfortable in. Maybe having your partner go from behind would be better as you don’t have to spread your legs. Also, talk to your partner about what you can and can not do, and then be open to brainstorming new ways of doing things together! You might be surprised that your partner has ideas that you have not thought of! So creativity, working with (not against) your body, and communication will be key to navigating sex with limited hip mobility.

Exploring your newly disabled body with your partner

Q: Since becoming disabled, I've been having a hard time accepting my changing body and its limitations. This has impacted my sex life, making it pretty much nonexistent, despite newly living with my partner. What are some ways I can help myself feel desirable again and initiate sex with my non-disabled partner who doesn't always fully understand my mobility issues?

A: Thanks for your question. It is completely understandable that you feel uncertain about intimacy with your new body. Here are some tips to get you and your partner connected to your body again! First, go at your own pace. This is not a race! If on some days, weeks, or longer, you don’t feel like exploring intimacy - honor that and focus on other things that make you feel good. The other big thing is communicating! Talk to your partner about what you are going through and what feelings it brings up for you. It is not only good to be on the same page, but it lets your partner know it is not about them when you don’t feel like being intimate. When you are open to exploring, one of the suggestions I have is just letting your partner feel your body, what feels good and what doesn’t. This is not sexual but more intimate and a way for your partner to become familiar with how your body works. Lastly, explore and don’t be afraid to laugh off things that don’t work and keep trying new things that do. Often when stuff does not work it gives you an idea of what might work instead. Hope these tips help!