Chronic Fatigue and Surgeries & Maintaining Sexual Intimacy in a Relationship

Q: “My partner and I haven’t had sex for a long time - months, maybe even 6 months to a year because of all of my recent surgeries and chronic fatigue. How can I make sure we are meeting each other’s needs, even when I feel horrible?”




A: Thanks for the question. I have a few ideas. Mutual masturbation is a good way to get off but you don’t have to exert a lot of energy. If you don’t have the energy or ability to get off yourself, you can instruct your partner exactly how you want them to get themselves off. This way you are exerting less energy but are still involved. Talking dirty is also a great low energy way to still connect with your partner and make them feel sexy. You don’t even need to act on what you say to them. Lastly, talk to your partner and explain how you feel. Ask them what they need to feel fulfilled and maybe brainstorm together more creative ways to create sexual intimacy.

Porn with people with disabilites

Q: “Any recs on porn or porn stars, sites, or films who are disabled, without being fetishized? Generally looking to watch some great porn, with people who happen to have visible disabilities.”

A: Unfortunately there is not a lot of quality representation of people with disabilities in the porn industry. As you mentioned, most porn that does have PwDs fetishizes them. The only example that comes to mind is this video featuring a gay quadriplegic porn star. There so needs to be more porn that features people of all abilities! There is a lot of demeaning and degrading porn with PwDs, there needs to more realistic and empowering porn so we can see ourselves enjoying sex and get off on that!

Getting aroused during diaper changes

Q: "I'm 18 yr old girl, Have CP, I get aroused when my mom changes my diaper and cleans me, is that normal? what should I do abt it?"




A: Thanks for your question. It is totally normal for a teenager to get aroused at non-sexual activities. Is there any way you could masturbate to relieve your self? If you take the time to do this, you may find yourself getting less aroused in this situation. Even if you need help, you can do assisted masturbation. This is when someone sets you up with whatever you need to masturbate and then leaves the room until you are done. This can look a lot of different ways depending on what your access needs are, and also requires an honest conversation with whoever you need to help you beforehand to make sure they understand you are not asking for sex.