Chronic Fatigue and Surgeries & Maintaining Sexual Intimacy in a Relationship

Q: “My partner and I haven’t had sex for a long time - months, maybe even 6 months to a year because of all of my recent surgeries and chronic fatigue. How can I make sure we are meeting each other’s needs, even when I feel horrible?”




A: Thanks for the question. I have a few ideas. Mutual masturbation is a good way to get off but you don’t have to exert a lot of energy. If you don’t have the energy or ability to get off yourself, you can instruct your partner exactly how you want them to get themselves off. This way you are exerting less energy but are still involved. Talking dirty is also a great low energy way to still connect with your partner and make them feel sexy. You don’t even need to act on what you say to them. Lastly, talk to your partner and explain how you feel. Ask them what they need to feel fulfilled and maybe brainstorm together more creative ways to create sexual intimacy.